Here is my little offering. Puperoni, hope you won't mind what lines I put in your mouth, and KTfan and Navy_4nsiks, hope you won't mind what I did to the Tate oven mitt.

With hearty apologies to Rowan Atkinson's Edmund Blackadder and Doyle's Sherlock Holmes and the Redheaded League.




PREVIOUSLY, ON "SLUMBER PARTY":

Caitlin Todd held up the brightly colored oven mittens, one on each hand, and shot KateToddFan a quizzical look. I dont get it, she muttered with a clueless shrug.

No plan? Sammie mused dubiously.
Mindy shrugged: We didnt have one last time.

Oh. Well. Lets just start and see what happens okay?



Chip, resplendent in his new mustache, [glared] evilly into the room.



Well, Mindy began, taking a big breath: Kate was telling us this conspiracy theory about why she left NCIS. And then THEY-- she pointed at the NCIS-clad figures: Came busting through the door!

Something very hinky is happening here Sammie muttered suspiciously.

Definitely, nodded Mindy, patting her on the shoulder: And its your turn to figure it all out.

----------------------------------------

"Huh?" Sammie asked, mouth full of cookie. "Figure what out?"

"Why Mark Harmon is in so little of 'Freaky Friday'," chickbat intoned sarcastically.

Sammie looked puzzled. "Really?" she asked.

"NO!" everyone shouted. "Why Kate left NCIS and why they came through the door just as we were talking about it!"

Sammie shrugged. "I don't know."

"Wrong answer," Gibbs replied threateningly, stepping forward to tower over her.

McGee hurriedly whispered to Sammie, "The right answer is, 'I'm going to find the right one now'."

Sammie nodded, then turned back to Gibbs, where they gave each other the evil eye for a full ten minutes.

"Can somebody get on with this, please?" DC asked. "Sundance and I have a show taping tomorrow morning."

"OK," Sammie agreed. "So long as you agree to hire an assistant to help Sundance."

"Sure. I'll hire two," DC replied as Sundance breathed a sigh of relief. "Much obliged."

Sammie and DC shook on it, and then the former put her hands on her hips and put on her 'evil eye' look again before turning to Gibbs. "Hey, mister, I'm not one of your agents, so don't do your googly-eyed stare of intimidation with me. I don't know what you want to know, so .: braaaack :. " she stuck her tongue out at him.

Gibbs frowned in shocked puzzlement as the short woman suddenly looked very appraisingly at his side.

Sammie stuck out a finger and jabbed it into Gibbs' side a couple times. "That's for being an incorrigible bastard, stomping around and doing whatever you want just because there's no one like Kate or Director Morrow or Commander Coleman to say 'no' to you. And that - " she kicked him

"Ow!"

" - is for the next decade of TV viewers. Do you know how much suffering you're going to cause? Hours spent in front of a television, trying to interpret this - " she raised an eyebrow with great exaggeration " - and pouring over your comments, trying to figure out how many wives you have had?"

"Even he doesn't know," Tony snickered.

"Oh, right," Mindy added. "And years quoting you going, 'Romance between agents never works' and 'Never date a coworker', talking total crap as usual."

"Oh, and that - " Sammie slapped him in the head.

"Hey, cool," Tony replied. McGee looked too shock to say anything.

" - is for that stupid haircut - "

"Thank you, Sammie!" Kate shouted.

" - that requires Mark Harmon to get his hair cut into an awful silver yarmulke every week."

Gibbs stared at her like she was a lunatic. "Who is Mark Harmon?"

"I'll tell him you said that," she replied pertly. "And I think he'll be very hurt."

KTFan picked up the list and helpfully crossed off "Sammie - poke Gibbs" from the list of "Things to Do Before This FF Is Over".

"Glad you had your fun, Sam," chickbat said, "but we're no better than we where we started!"

"Some worse," Gibbs grumbled with a glare at Sammie, rubbing his side and his leg. Kate generously helped him to a nearby chair, where he spent an indecent amount of time staring at her.

Likina filled the Tate baking glove with ice (sorry KTfan, Navy 4nsiks) and brought it over to put on the big black and blue marks. "We can play a game of Scrabble while you recover," she suggested. "Or, you and Kate can play."

"Huh?" they stared at her, puzzled.

"Never mind."

"So...we still haven't figured out who sent us on this little raid," Tony pointed out.

"Well, it wasn't my fault this time," McGee pointed out.

"Abby?" Tony called into his ear radio. "What's going on?"

"Well," came the throaty voice crackling over the line. "Remember when we were told that Chip had been let out of prison on probation? We had the guard put that chip on Chip, remember?"

"Did he put it on his shoulder?" Puperoni joked.

"Ha ha, hilarious."

"And we tracked him to this location," Abby continued.

"Chip's here? Where?" Tony asked in alarm.

"Someone here ask for special delivery?" came a voice behind them.

"Nikki!" cheered everyone in the room, and they noticed the redhead behind them. "4!"

"4?" McGee and Tony asked, puzzled. Kate and Gibbs would be puzzled, too, except they were still in the middle of spending indecent amounts of time looking at each other.

"As in 'Navy 4Nsiks', but that's too long and complicated," DC explained.

"So we call her '4'," Likina put in. "Like, you know, 'M'. And 'Q'. Except she's a number."

"Ooh, very James Bond-ish." Tony grinned down at her. "I like redheads, too, you know."

"Ooh, I'm glad," 4 gushed.

"We know," McGee snorted. "You went out on a date with the redheaded lieutenant the minute the case on the USS Philadelphia closed."

"And I like all ladies," Tony grinned at Nikkinor.

"Bug off," she retorted. Tony inched away. "Anyhow, look who we found." Nikkinor shoved the guy down face down onto the floor. He started to get up, but 4 pushed him back down with a black-booted foot.

"Chippy?" Tony asked, looking down at the back of the head.

"4 and I found him scoping out the house," Nikkinor replied. "Good thing we found him."

"How FORtunate," Puperoni snickered.

"Wonder who he's scouting for, the slimeball," Mindy mused.

"Can I shoot him?" came a chorus of voices.

"Who's supposed to shoot?" Sammie asked, trotting over to KTfan's side. KTfan licked her index fingertip and flipped through the list. "I can't remember if it's the NCIS lover with the 'u' or without. It's all very confusing."

"I believe it's both."



"Hold on," said Lvr without the 'u'.

"I thought we were shooting the dff," finished Luvr with the 'u'.

"I hope you'll settle for not shooting the dff," the authoress said, wringing her hands. "There's such a long list of requests that I'm trying to fulfill as many as possible within my section of the story." Seeing them unconvinced, she continued, "I'm sure if it comes up at an appropriate time later you will be at the top of the list."

Lvr looked at Luvr. "OK!" they agreed.

"Oh, thank you kindly," the authoress breathed a sigh of relief.




KTfan helped Luvr and Lvr into the correct paintgun vests and clothing. Mindy wiggled her nose, and two paint guns appeared. She handed one to Luvr and one to Lvr, then motioned to Nikkinor, who pulled up Chip to a standing position.

"Tell us who hired you," Tony growled.

"No way!" Chip Not-So Sterling shouted.

"You asked for it," Luvr sighed, and decided to scratch her itchy trigger finger.

"Ow!" Chip shouted as one gigantic hot pink paintball nailed him in the stomach.

"Could aim a little lower," Kate suggested from Gibbs' side. McGee and Tony grimaced.

"Pink is really not your color," Lvr commented, watching the paintball spreading on Chip's clothing.

"Is that Luvr or Lvr?" Sammie whispered to Sundance. "I can't tell them apart!"

Sundance shrugged. "You can ask them," she pointed out. "But remember that one always lies and the other always tells the truth, so you have to ask each one what the other would say." She paused, thinking it over. "Yeah, that's the answer to the riddle."

"Want to share who hired you now?" McGee asked.

"No!"

4 sighed, buffing her nails with the file DC gave her. "Dummy. Gave you a chance."

Lvr fired, and Chip fell to the ground howling, a yellow paintball stinking out from his knee.

"Well, that's two more down," Puperoni said, crossing off "Luvr - shoot somebody" and "Lvr - shoot somebody" off the list. "We're making good time! Hair-braiding, cookies, poking, shooting all in the first two hours."

"What else is on the list?" Sammie asked.

"Uh, check the 'Friends of NCIS' board, watch Darcy climb out of the pond in his wet shirt fifty times - that's mine," Mindy said, reading over Puperoni's shoulder, "and solve the conspiracy of The NCIS Redheaded League."

"Aw, can we shoot again? Can we shoot again?" Luvr with a 'u' and Lvr without a 'u' shouted.

"You want to talk yet, Chippy?" 4 asked, bending over to look Chip in the face.

"No!"

There was the distinct sound of Luvr and Lvr reloading.

"OK, OK!" Chip shouted. "It was the same person that speeded my application through the first time."

"I was wondering how somebody with so many holes in his career background could have gotten a job, without somebody speeding that application," chickbat muttered. "Hey, by the way, could you close the door? This hospital gown doesn't keep out those drafts."

McGee obliged.

"So, who was it that assigned Abby this moron assistant when she didn't want one?" Tony asked thoughtfully.

There was a long silence, then:

"The dff!"
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